...and then, the floodgates opened

[This post isn't just about the iPad. Scroll down if you want to skip this bit.]

I was keeping an eye on the live coverage of the presentation (thank you, gizmodo!). And…it's pretty. The touch-typing is nifty. The iBooks are intriguing. I get the concept. Stephen Fry even gushed philosophical about it, and I can see how it would appeal.

I didn't at first think "feminine hygiene product" when I heard the name "iPad." I thought of "note pad" and "scratch pad," but it was an all-too-easy leap after that. "Are you there, God? It's me, Marketing" is my favorite of the jokes. The runner-up is "Will future versions be larger, have wings and dry-weave, and be called maxiPads?" Giggles all around because I am still twelve somewhere in my head. Did no one at Apple consider the possibly unfortunate name? Then again, if it was an all-boys club that built this thing and came up with all the marketing, let alone the majority of the presentation, I guess it wouldn't be on their radar. If there is token female representation on their marketing team, I guess she was ignored?

For whatever reason, the iPad is not geared to women, despite the name, and despite the fact that half the population is female and surely at least some of us know how to use a Mac computer and/or an iPhone, and therefore could make our way around this thing with some degree of confidence. Yet if you watch the official promo video, it's all white males talking about it and using it. The only women or girls in the video are in a couple of pictures in photo albums and a woman sitting next to a guy who is holding an iPad and she gets to hit the play button - and that's a neck-down shot that draws attention to her chest. Seriously? That's the best they could come up with to appeal to the masses? Are we suddenly back in the 1950s?

Please. If you're going to be sexist, at least be subtle about it. This was so blatant as to be appallingly funny. Bust Magazine has a hilarious play-by-play of the video.

Despite the above-mentioned stunning marketing blunder, I might watch movies on it. I'd try out iBooks. I can even see using it as a music tool beyond iTunes. My cello teacher tells me there are instrument tuner and metronome apps available for the iPhone, which I assume transfer to the iPad. I'd love to see an app that would let me download cello sheet music and then prop the iPad right on the music stand and play from that, with the metronome app going in the background, after having used the tuner app. No more lugging music books around (although how would I mark up the pages?). And then I could zoom in on a particular section of the piece of music if that's what I wanted to work on. Oh. Right. No multi-tasking capability. Sigh.

I use my personal laptop for three things: creating and storing documents, communicating via e-mail/Facebook/Twitter/blogging, and wandering around the Internet. I do have a lot of documents on Google Docs, but I've had the occasional problem with being able to open or save a file, so I still have back-up copies on the hard drive and/or on a flash drive.

Would I be able to access and use all the documents I currently have or would I have to convert it all to iWorks? Does anyone actually use iWorks? I've never met anyone who does, and I’ve yet to work for a company that uses it as the main document software.

Ultimately, I like the idea of replacing a traditional laptop, but I'm not sure this is the replacement I want because I still need and want to be able to do what I currently do on my laptop in addition to watching movies, reading books, and using it as part of cello practice. I don’t think the iPad can do all that for me. At least not yet. I’m open to the possibility if they are. Just shrink the border a bit, okay? At least to three-quarters of an inch. Half-an-inch, preferably.

And what is it with STILL only going through AT&T? I refuse to switch to a crappy service just to use a product, which is why I’ve not gotten the iPhone yet. And the service will only get crappier with even more people getting on it to use the new toy. So yet another potential market barred from using it.

And another thing, @rantyeditor is right: Saying something is "half-an-inch thin" doesn't make it sound thinner, it just makes you sound dumber.

Finally, you are not your gadgets. But enough about the iPad.

In other gateway news, one of my pulses apparently blew a fuse, acupuncturally speaking.

Karen-the-acupuncturist thinks the culprit was a series of sinus headaches that I had earlier this week. I started battling sinus problems when I started taking Lexapro. I’ve been off Lexapro since last fall, but I still have the sinus problems.

Lately, sinus flare-ups lead to panic attacks. Being the medical writer that I am, I looked this up, and it’s not an unusual chain reaction. One of the main symptoms of panic attacks is feeling like you can’t breathe; therefore, a lower oxygen intake due to stuffy sinuses could ring alarm bells in the psyche. I also saw a new doctor on Monday and mentioned my history of panic attacks and that I’d not had one in awhile, so for all I know, I merely jinxed myself.

As usual, Karen took care of it with one point near my left ear. That’s it. Just. One. Point. It’s a gateway point, and I guess the lock was stuck. Karen got it open and things got moving. My sinuses suddenly cleared, and I felt a wave of…something…flow down toward my feet. Odd feeling. When Karen read my pulses after the one needle, she said they were flooded (in a good way). I left an hour later feeling as though I'd had a really good nap. Seeing as I’ve only slept for a handful of hours in the past few days due to nocturnal panic attacks, it was a relief to finally feel rested. I’d had to put off cello practice because I could barely keep my eyes open.

It is a ganglion cyst, by the way. On my wrist, I mean. The doctor didn’t whack it with a heavy book. She recommends aspirating it, and can refer me to a good orthopedic surgeon. She’d have done it herself, since she’s aspirated a lot of things, but she admitted the one thing she’d never poked with a needle is a ganglion cyst. Go figure.

I’m not keen on the idea. Large needle plunged into my wrist is ewww, remember? But there really aren’t any other treatments for it aside from not using my hand for awhile. And that’s impossible because it’s my dominant hand and I, you know, use it do to everything. Hell, maybe the orthopedic surgeon will bash it with a heavy book. Is it weird that I'd prefer that to a needle?