Right. The apparent cause of my weight problems appears to be the Lexapro. I was told that Lexapro was fairly side effect-neutral; however, after some further digging (it really does pay to be a medical writer at times), I've discovered it does cause carb cravings and weight gain, mainly because it can make the metabolism slow down to a snail's crawl. SSRIs as a drug class tend to have this side effect. And I'm a textbook case - the amount of weight I've gained in the time period I've been on Lexapro is spot on.
You're possibly thinking, "Now Cate, you are over 30. Are you sure it's not that causing the weight gain?" Yes, I am over 30. Yes, my metabolism has slowed down some. Yes, I did start gaining weight, which for me wasn't actually a bad thing as I was underweight most of my life. However, before Lexapro, the weight was coming on rather slowly, nothing like the amount I've gained since being on the Lexapro. And my even-more-stringent diet and exercise routine, which is disgustingly healthy, hasn't budged the bathroom scale one bit.
The dilemma of course is that if I go off the Lexapro, there is a chance of a recurrence of the panic attacks. If I stay on the Lexapro, there's a chance I'll get big as a house. I know there are current studies that show that antidepressants may be as about effective as placebos. Perhaps they're right. Perhaps it's just the act of taking a pill that makes you feel better. The placebo effect isn't necessarily a bad thing. Mind over matter and all that.
I'm leaning toward getting off the Lexapro. The nutritionist has a supplement I could take. Karen-the-acupuncturist also recommends fish oil supplements while weaning off SSRIs. She also put magnets on my left ear on Thursday (can't go walking around with needles in my ear, now can I?), told me to eat greens and protein 3 times a day with veggie snacks in between, and to call on Monday.
I suddenly had the urge and energy to clean out my closet last night. I donated 7 grocery bags and 2 black trash bags full of clothes. I suspect the magnets may have something to do with it. Karen did say they manifest amazing changes in people. They may not be getting rid of weight, but they get rid of baggage in short order.
On a completely unrelated note, I've discovered a lovely series called Kingdom, starring your favorite polymath and mine. Just the right mix of humor and drama, and Tony Slattery is hilarious as Mr Snell. I wish they'd release the DVDs in the US.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
book stuff
A book about Oscar Wilde's library - and is it me, or does that caricature look like Stephen Fry?
There's still time to read Neverwhere online.
The Graveyard Book will be released next Tuesday.
As of this Friday, I will officially be halfway done with my thesis.
There's still time to read Neverwhere online.
The Graveyard Book will be released next Tuesday.
As of this Friday, I will officially be halfway done with my thesis.
Monday, September 15, 2008
he likes it!
I talked to my advisor this afternoon. He likes my story! He said the material was great, he likes that it's got more depth than a typical ghost story, and he's excited about it! This is a huge relief for me. I didn't know if in all its disjointed, ugly-teenage-phaseness it would be at all appealing.
He gave me some great advice, which I need just about now, as my enthusiasm for the story was starting to flag. He recommended just focusing on getting the order of scenes and the structure of the story as a whole hashed out by the end of the month. I think that's do-able, and it takes some pressure off me to have a more complete draft done in two weeks.
He also recommended moving a particular scene to the beginning, which I think makes a lot of things work better after that, and also helps with the "slow reveal" concept that is definitely coming forward in the story.
The funniest advice he gave me was to read Freud, specifically his essay, The Uncanny, because it deals with cognitive dissonance (things that are familiar yet foreign at the same time), which is a big thing for my main character. I've never been much for Freud, but in skimming over this piece, he may have his literary uses.
My advisor also picked up on the photography (the main character's career) and the letters. He pointed out that photos and letters have a bit of cognitive dissonance to them because they capture a particular moment in the past, when in fact things in the present may be (and often are) very different. That makes me wonder why I didn't think to do something with spirit photos, and I still don't have a darkroom scene.
My main character is reading Jane Eyre at one point, and my advisor said I could do a lot more with parallels not just with the story itself, but also with the ideas of past and present, especially my attic scenes. Check.
I've now got my enthusiasm back for this project. Everybody watch out! I've got ideas, and I'm not afraid to use them!
He gave me some great advice, which I need just about now, as my enthusiasm for the story was starting to flag. He recommended just focusing on getting the order of scenes and the structure of the story as a whole hashed out by the end of the month. I think that's do-able, and it takes some pressure off me to have a more complete draft done in two weeks.
He also recommended moving a particular scene to the beginning, which I think makes a lot of things work better after that, and also helps with the "slow reveal" concept that is definitely coming forward in the story.
The funniest advice he gave me was to read Freud, specifically his essay, The Uncanny, because it deals with cognitive dissonance (things that are familiar yet foreign at the same time), which is a big thing for my main character. I've never been much for Freud, but in skimming over this piece, he may have his literary uses.
My advisor also picked up on the photography (the main character's career) and the letters. He pointed out that photos and letters have a bit of cognitive dissonance to them because they capture a particular moment in the past, when in fact things in the present may be (and often are) very different. That makes me wonder why I didn't think to do something with spirit photos, and I still don't have a darkroom scene.
My main character is reading Jane Eyre at one point, and my advisor said I could do a lot more with parallels not just with the story itself, but also with the ideas of past and present, especially my attic scenes. Check.
I've now got my enthusiasm back for this project. Everybody watch out! I've got ideas, and I'm not afraid to use them!
Monday, September 8, 2008
a little happy
It was a sunny and exasperating day at work.
First, my computer screen took on a sick yellow tint for about an hour. The nice IT people fixed it, but until they came around, I had to work with a yellow screen, which gave me a headache.
Second, a very important person asked for some sample documents by the end of the day, which required some scrambling, editing, layout, editing, rewriting, and editing, and we're still not convinced they're as good as they could be if we'd be given more time. This gave my boss a headache, and amped up my own.
Third, a large black-and-white utterly simple document that I sent to the printer in the morning didn't finish printing until 2 in the afternoon. However, Joe-the-office-roomie was way too kind and didn't complain at all about having to listen to the blasted printer all day long.
Finally, the document I worked on this weekend for the same very important person is still haunting me. It has been sent to the Mothership "for feedback," which likely means additional changes. However, I at least get to do a more thorough copyedit, and the same officemate helped me figure out how to add tables after references using section breaks so the tables show up in the table of contents automatically rather than having to be manually entered.
Arrived home with headache to find a box on my doorstep - a complete set of hardback editions of the Oxford Illustrated Jane Austen, purchased at a ridiculously reduced price (note: I didn't pay what the Web site is advertising) to replace my cheap, falling apart editions purchased 15 years ago. Gobbled up the first third of Northanger Abbey (which IS on my thesis guided reading list, after all) along with dinner.
Was also amused to read the Biographical Notice of the Author. "Of personal attractions, she possessed a considerable share. Her stature was that of true elegance. It could not have been increased without exceeding the middle height...Her features were separately good. Their assemblage produced an unrivalled expression of that cheerfulness, sensibility, and benevolence, which were her real characteristics....and she seldom changed her opinions either on books or men" (pp 5, 7). That's my girl.
This gave me enough energy and respite from headache to write a few scenes for my thesis, so now feeling slightly more accomplished.
Yes, everyone needs a little happy once in awhile.
First, my computer screen took on a sick yellow tint for about an hour. The nice IT people fixed it, but until they came around, I had to work with a yellow screen, which gave me a headache.
Second, a very important person asked for some sample documents by the end of the day, which required some scrambling, editing, layout, editing, rewriting, and editing, and we're still not convinced they're as good as they could be if we'd be given more time. This gave my boss a headache, and amped up my own.
Third, a large black-and-white utterly simple document that I sent to the printer in the morning didn't finish printing until 2 in the afternoon. However, Joe-the-office-roomie was way too kind and didn't complain at all about having to listen to the blasted printer all day long.
Finally, the document I worked on this weekend for the same very important person is still haunting me. It has been sent to the Mothership "for feedback," which likely means additional changes. However, I at least get to do a more thorough copyedit, and the same officemate helped me figure out how to add tables after references using section breaks so the tables show up in the table of contents automatically rather than having to be manually entered.
Arrived home with headache to find a box on my doorstep - a complete set of hardback editions of the Oxford Illustrated Jane Austen, purchased at a ridiculously reduced price (note: I didn't pay what the Web site is advertising) to replace my cheap, falling apart editions purchased 15 years ago. Gobbled up the first third of Northanger Abbey (which IS on my thesis guided reading list, after all) along with dinner.
Was also amused to read the Biographical Notice of the Author. "Of personal attractions, she possessed a considerable share. Her stature was that of true elegance. It could not have been increased without exceeding the middle height...Her features were separately good. Their assemblage produced an unrivalled expression of that cheerfulness, sensibility, and benevolence, which were her real characteristics....and she seldom changed her opinions either on books or men" (pp 5, 7). That's my girl.
This gave me enough energy and respite from headache to write a few scenes for my thesis, so now feeling slightly more accomplished.
Yes, everyone needs a little happy once in awhile.
Friday, September 5, 2008
mark your calendars...
Next Wednesday is Big Bang Day.
CERN will start testing the Large Hadron Collider to re-create the atmophere that occurred just after the Big Bang. Eventually, they'll be smashing proton beams into each other at nearly the speed of light in a 17-mile tunnel below ground. Sounds like fun, doesn't it?
Not only will this provide a better idea about what the Universe was like right after the Big Bang, but physicists are also hoping to see evidence that their ideas about string theory and what comprises the Universe are on the right track. BBC Radio 4 and CERN itself will have all-day coverage, if you're interested.
Oddly there are critics who think the attention paid to this is dumbing it down for the masses. I don't get that. Why should scientific revelations be reserved for only a few people to know about? And since we all live in the Universe, I'd hope we'd all want to know more about it and its origins. That's why I like reading books by people like Brian Greene and Michio Kaku because they make an effort to explain this stuff to people like me who have no background in physics.
In case you're worried that the world will end as a result of this experiment, be not afraid. Although there's a possibility the experiment will produce microscopic black holes, they apparently will only exist for a "nano-nano-nanosecond" and cause no harm at all. Collisions like this are happening all the time in the Universe anyway, and on a much greater energy scale, so if they really were harmful, we'd be obliterated already. That's the story I'm believing, anyway. If you want to go for the "maybe we've been obliterated already and our reality is a collective illusion," carry on. I'm going to make tea.
CERN will start testing the Large Hadron Collider to re-create the atmophere that occurred just after the Big Bang. Eventually, they'll be smashing proton beams into each other at nearly the speed of light in a 17-mile tunnel below ground. Sounds like fun, doesn't it?
Not only will this provide a better idea about what the Universe was like right after the Big Bang, but physicists are also hoping to see evidence that their ideas about string theory and what comprises the Universe are on the right track. BBC Radio 4 and CERN itself will have all-day coverage, if you're interested.
Oddly there are critics who think the attention paid to this is dumbing it down for the masses. I don't get that. Why should scientific revelations be reserved for only a few people to know about? And since we all live in the Universe, I'd hope we'd all want to know more about it and its origins. That's why I like reading books by people like Brian Greene and Michio Kaku because they make an effort to explain this stuff to people like me who have no background in physics.
In case you're worried that the world will end as a result of this experiment, be not afraid. Although there's a possibility the experiment will produce microscopic black holes, they apparently will only exist for a "nano-nano-nanosecond" and cause no harm at all. Collisions like this are happening all the time in the Universe anyway, and on a much greater energy scale, so if they really were harmful, we'd be obliterated already. That's the story I'm believing, anyway. If you want to go for the "maybe we've been obliterated already and our reality is a collective illusion," carry on. I'm going to make tea.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
thesis update
Right. Bit of a writing setback.
I posted my draft-in-progress to my advisor in mid-August, and I waited for feedback for two weeks. Last week, the advisor sent out an e-mail to the group to check in with everyone and to ask for drafts from those he hadn't received drafts from yet. I e-mailed back that I had posted my draft in the dropbox two weeks prior (which was the standard procedure for every class before this). He e-mailed me that he didn't realize I had done that and could I e-mail my draft to him directly, which I did. However, this means I've waited nearly three weeks for feedback. Part one of the thesis course ends at the end of the month, so I need to have a revised draft done by then, and it would be helpful to know how much revision I need to do ASAP. Especially since I'm not a fast writer when it comes to fiction.
I went to Karen-the-acupuncturist last week because I've been really tired lately, no matter how much sleep I get. She said that working full time and working on my thesis both before and after work is a hell of a lot of writing, so no wonder I feel drained all the time - all of me is being poured out on paper these days. I didn't have this fatigue while working on the other courses for this degree. However, the writing assignments for those courses were far smaller than the thesis.
Regardless of when I get advisor feedback, I'm still working on the draft I have. I'm actually glad Saturday will be yucky, weather-wise. I ran all my errands tonight, so I have the whole weekend to work on the gaps in the narrative. I still think it's getting smidgens better each time I work on it, which is really the only thing that keeps me working on it.
I'm also re-reading Stephen King's On Writing, which I think is one of the better writing books out there and is great inspiration.
I'm about halfway through the books on my guided reading list. Actually, you might say I'm overdosing on the list, possibly to pour something back into myself. I recently finished re-reading Jane Eyre and Rebecca (which is a more modern version of Jane Eyre), and now I'm reading Daphne by Justine Picardie, which is a fictional account of Daphne du Maurier's interest in the Brontes. She was a member of the Bronte Society, and she wrote a biography of Branwell Bronte (The Infernal World Of). Must pick up a copy of that eventually...
I posted my draft-in-progress to my advisor in mid-August, and I waited for feedback for two weeks. Last week, the advisor sent out an e-mail to the group to check in with everyone and to ask for drafts from those he hadn't received drafts from yet. I e-mailed back that I had posted my draft in the dropbox two weeks prior (which was the standard procedure for every class before this). He e-mailed me that he didn't realize I had done that and could I e-mail my draft to him directly, which I did. However, this means I've waited nearly three weeks for feedback. Part one of the thesis course ends at the end of the month, so I need to have a revised draft done by then, and it would be helpful to know how much revision I need to do ASAP. Especially since I'm not a fast writer when it comes to fiction.
I went to Karen-the-acupuncturist last week because I've been really tired lately, no matter how much sleep I get. She said that working full time and working on my thesis both before and after work is a hell of a lot of writing, so no wonder I feel drained all the time - all of me is being poured out on paper these days. I didn't have this fatigue while working on the other courses for this degree. However, the writing assignments for those courses were far smaller than the thesis.
Regardless of when I get advisor feedback, I'm still working on the draft I have. I'm actually glad Saturday will be yucky, weather-wise. I ran all my errands tonight, so I have the whole weekend to work on the gaps in the narrative. I still think it's getting smidgens better each time I work on it, which is really the only thing that keeps me working on it.
I'm also re-reading Stephen King's On Writing, which I think is one of the better writing books out there and is great inspiration.
I'm about halfway through the books on my guided reading list. Actually, you might say I'm overdosing on the list, possibly to pour something back into myself. I recently finished re-reading Jane Eyre and Rebecca (which is a more modern version of Jane Eyre), and now I'm reading Daphne by Justine Picardie, which is a fictional account of Daphne du Maurier's interest in the Brontes. She was a member of the Bronte Society, and she wrote a biography of Branwell Bronte (The Infernal World Of). Must pick up a copy of that eventually...
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