Today is the 250th anniversary of William Blake's birth. Several authors have written stories inspired by his writing (he was also a painter and a printmaker). Thursday's story is "Jerusalem" by Neil Gaiman. (Speaking of NG, this really sets the bar high for proposals, but I digress...)
If you like Tracy Chevalier's books, you can listen to Burning Bright, which is a fictional account of a family's encounter with their neighbor, William Blake, in London in 1792.
This is a good site, if you want more info about Blake (and consider adopting a poet while you're there). The Tate also has a fun interactive site.
The best books on Blake are probably this one and this one.
See Blake's notebook. (right-hand column, second from the top)
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
reading binge
I'm finding that on these breaks from academic reading, I'm overindulging on the pleasure reading:
A.S. Byatt writes about fairies.
Letters from the Mitford sisters.
Philip Pullman goes back to teaching.
Kate Bush writes a song, Lyra, for The Golden Compass film. (I may overdose on this one.)
Judy Collins has written this very pretty book about creativity. (I want my hair to look like hers when I go gray.)
A.S. Byatt writes about fairies.
Letters from the Mitford sisters.
Philip Pullman goes back to teaching.
Kate Bush writes a song, Lyra, for The Golden Compass film. (I may overdose on this one.)
Judy Collins has written this very pretty book about creativity. (I want my hair to look like hers when I go gray.)
fade out
"Fade out" are the two most beautiful words (next to "The End").
I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. The screenplay has been submitted for a grade. I now have exactly one day off before my next class starts. I'm going to crochet all day tomorrow.
It was cathartic to get this story idea out finally. I'd been carrying it around with me for several years now, not sure what to do with it.
The professor suggested that I change one of the characters from a girl to a boy, and that I cut out some of the unnecessary scenes at the end. Both helped the story quite a bit and taught me to let go of the reality of the event that sparked the idea in the first place and consider ideas that turned it into more of a story. Make it more "story-shaped," as Neil Gaiman would say.
It's far from perfect or polished, but now that I've got a substantial workable draft, I can continue to polish. I came in well under 100 pages, but seeing as it's a story for children, that's probably a good thing, as far as keeping their attention for any length of time.
The only downside is that I'm no longer able to watch TV or films now without analyzing them. "Okay, that's probably the end of Act I...so Act II ought to really take off now..."
I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. The screenplay has been submitted for a grade. I now have exactly one day off before my next class starts. I'm going to crochet all day tomorrow.
It was cathartic to get this story idea out finally. I'd been carrying it around with me for several years now, not sure what to do with it.
The professor suggested that I change one of the characters from a girl to a boy, and that I cut out some of the unnecessary scenes at the end. Both helped the story quite a bit and taught me to let go of the reality of the event that sparked the idea in the first place and consider ideas that turned it into more of a story. Make it more "story-shaped," as Neil Gaiman would say.
It's far from perfect or polished, but now that I've got a substantial workable draft, I can continue to polish. I came in well under 100 pages, but seeing as it's a story for children, that's probably a good thing, as far as keeping their attention for any length of time.
The only downside is that I'm no longer able to watch TV or films now without analyzing them. "Okay, that's probably the end of Act I...so Act II ought to really take off now..."
Monday, November 19, 2007
ow!
(Sigh) Now I know what happens when I forget to take my meds.
I was running late this morning, so I was rushing to get all my vitamins and supplements together to take to work with me, and I forgot the Lexapro. It's the only one I forgot, oddly enough. Now I have a doozy of a headache. My doctor told me that might happen, so I need to be more careful.
I've been chiseling away on this screenplay assignment, and while I'm confident I'll have something respectable to turn in on time, it's taking mammoth effort to get it to such a state. I have to keep telling myself this is an intro class, even if it is grad level, and therefore, I'm not expected to write something Oscar-worthy. I'm just supposed to get the hang of the medium. The second act of my piece is still my favorite bit.
Even though I'm not doing NaNoWriMo this year (and I'm going through a bit of withdrawal over that), I'm still getting e-mail updates and pep talks from the site. Since I am writing a lengthy piece in November, I still consider myself included in the writing community, so it was with great relish that I read Neil Gaiman's pep talk last week. Much of it is applicable to any form of creative writing, especially the part about a writing project going through an ugly teenage phase where it doesn't know what it wants to be and is on the brink of giving up because it doesn't seem worth it. Been there, wrassled with that. I love the stone wall image too.
Some interesting finds:
If you're knitting- or crochet- inclined, consider putting a little needle or hook effort toward Warm Up America. It doesn't take long to make a 7" by 9" square, it doesn't have to be fancy, and it's a handy (no pun intended, well...maybe) way to use up any leftover yarn you might have and do some good at the same time. You can also make entire blankets to send in if you want, or get a group together and each person can contribute a piece. (P.S. I need a needlework group so I have an excuse to get out of the house and away from homework on a regular basis. Knitters, crocheters, cross-stitchers, embroiderers, quilters, etc. Anyone interested?)
Silly British laws. Enough said.
I can't wait to see this film. If you haven't read Marjane Satrapi's books, do. Good stuff. It's so good to see more women in this genre. (Angel, we need to do a graphic novel - I'll write it, you illustrate it? I have ideas...)
Finally, ladies, mark your calendars for March 17, 2008. I think we need a green tea party at my place.
I was running late this morning, so I was rushing to get all my vitamins and supplements together to take to work with me, and I forgot the Lexapro. It's the only one I forgot, oddly enough. Now I have a doozy of a headache. My doctor told me that might happen, so I need to be more careful.
I've been chiseling away on this screenplay assignment, and while I'm confident I'll have something respectable to turn in on time, it's taking mammoth effort to get it to such a state. I have to keep telling myself this is an intro class, even if it is grad level, and therefore, I'm not expected to write something Oscar-worthy. I'm just supposed to get the hang of the medium. The second act of my piece is still my favorite bit.
Even though I'm not doing NaNoWriMo this year (and I'm going through a bit of withdrawal over that), I'm still getting e-mail updates and pep talks from the site. Since I am writing a lengthy piece in November, I still consider myself included in the writing community, so it was with great relish that I read Neil Gaiman's pep talk last week. Much of it is applicable to any form of creative writing, especially the part about a writing project going through an ugly teenage phase where it doesn't know what it wants to be and is on the brink of giving up because it doesn't seem worth it. Been there, wrassled with that. I love the stone wall image too.
Some interesting finds:
If you're knitting- or crochet- inclined, consider putting a little needle or hook effort toward Warm Up America. It doesn't take long to make a 7" by 9" square, it doesn't have to be fancy, and it's a handy (no pun intended, well...maybe) way to use up any leftover yarn you might have and do some good at the same time. You can also make entire blankets to send in if you want, or get a group together and each person can contribute a piece. (P.S. I need a needlework group so I have an excuse to get out of the house and away from homework on a regular basis. Knitters, crocheters, cross-stitchers, embroiderers, quilters, etc. Anyone interested?)
Silly British laws. Enough said.
I can't wait to see this film. If you haven't read Marjane Satrapi's books, do. Good stuff. It's so good to see more women in this genre. (Angel, we need to do a graphic novel - I'll write it, you illustrate it? I have ideas...)
Finally, ladies, mark your calendars for March 17, 2008. I think we need a green tea party at my place.
Friday, November 16, 2007
reminders
I went to the doctor this morning for a follow-up appointment. I feel tons better than I did a few weeks ago. She said all my blood work looks great, though I could stand to get my HDL up a little more. My blood pressure is good, my weight is reasonable, and she doesn't think I need to lose as much as I think I need to lose. I'm having few, if any, side effects from the medication, so she wants to keep me on that for awhile. She also gave me a referral to a cognitive behavior therapist, so I'll be trying that soon.
They were short-staffed today, so there was a longer waiting time. I was in the exam room waiting to see my doctor, and through the air vent, I could hear her with another patient. The poor woman is far worse off than I am. She's a smoker, she's got bronchitis and diabetes, she had a stroke about 10 years ago, and the residual effect of it is that she falls frequently. She's broken bones and hit her head because of the falls. Her husband is in a nursing home, and she goes to see him everyday. She's been recommended for physical therapy, but apparently, the therapist wants her homebound or else she can't have the physical therapy. She's an active woman, and she misses her husband, so being homebound would be horrible for her. She was asking the doctor for an override note so that she could continue to get the physical therapy and keep active and be out and about and visit her husband. There is an assisted living facility she could live in that is in the same complex where her husband is, but she says she's "not ready" to give up her independence yet. I can't say I blame her.
One good thing about being a writer is that you get used to noticing what and who is around you and taking notes. I know eavesdropping isn't nice, but it's the air vent's fault, not mine, and hearing the conversation at least took me out of my own problems to remember that they're not so bad as I think they are. You've got to give the woman credit for being a fighter despite her circumstances. Would that we all had that kind of pluck and perseverence.
They were short-staffed today, so there was a longer waiting time. I was in the exam room waiting to see my doctor, and through the air vent, I could hear her with another patient. The poor woman is far worse off than I am. She's a smoker, she's got bronchitis and diabetes, she had a stroke about 10 years ago, and the residual effect of it is that she falls frequently. She's broken bones and hit her head because of the falls. Her husband is in a nursing home, and she goes to see him everyday. She's been recommended for physical therapy, but apparently, the therapist wants her homebound or else she can't have the physical therapy. She's an active woman, and she misses her husband, so being homebound would be horrible for her. She was asking the doctor for an override note so that she could continue to get the physical therapy and keep active and be out and about and visit her husband. There is an assisted living facility she could live in that is in the same complex where her husband is, but she says she's "not ready" to give up her independence yet. I can't say I blame her.
One good thing about being a writer is that you get used to noticing what and who is around you and taking notes. I know eavesdropping isn't nice, but it's the air vent's fault, not mine, and hearing the conversation at least took me out of my own problems to remember that they're not so bad as I think they are. You've got to give the woman credit for being a fighter despite her circumstances. Would that we all had that kind of pluck and perseverence.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
golden odd
Have you seen the new Golden Compass trailer? It looks delicious. If I had time, I'd re-read the book again before seeing the movie. Actually, I have the audio book, now that I think of it. Never mind, I'll listen to it again before I see the movie. Don't mind me, I'm just thinking out loud.
In other news, odd things have been happening lately:
- When I bought my new-to-me car, I sold the old one to CarMax, and I couldn't find the title, and then it magically appeared again.
- A recruiter called and left a message and told me she had the "perfect" job for me, but wouldn't say what it was as she needed to talk to me in person. I can't decide if that's suspicious or not. In fact, several recruiters have called me in the last week.
- I was supposed to have lunch with an ex-boyfriend (his idea), and not only did he stand me up for lunch, he blew me off with a lame and rather terse e-mail.
- Conversely, I've suddenly become very popular with men lately. I'm being approached right and left, and of course, I have far less time for dating now that I'm in grad school. Isn't that always the way? It has, however, taught me one thing: never date anyone new from July through October. Whenever I do, the relationships either fizzle quietly or end abruptly, and in either case, the guy gives me some chickenshit excuse or a range of excuses that I get to pick from because he can't make up his mind which one is the real one. So four-month dating-someone-new moratorium. Can do. Those are good months for a writing project anyway.
- I had a half-numb/half-sore jaw today after my dentist appointment (filling replaced, required novocaine shot). The dentist said my jaw would be numb for 2 or 3 hours. I got the shot around 2:30, but by 5:30, my jaw was still pretty numb. I went to an acupuncture appointment and was treated for something entirely unrelated (she said I was "hovering" and "not grounded"), and by the time I left an hour later, most of the numbness in my jaw was gone.
In other news, odd things have been happening lately:
- When I bought my new-to-me car, I sold the old one to CarMax, and I couldn't find the title, and then it magically appeared again.
- A recruiter called and left a message and told me she had the "perfect" job for me, but wouldn't say what it was as she needed to talk to me in person. I can't decide if that's suspicious or not. In fact, several recruiters have called me in the last week.
- I was supposed to have lunch with an ex-boyfriend (his idea), and not only did he stand me up for lunch, he blew me off with a lame and rather terse e-mail.
- Conversely, I've suddenly become very popular with men lately. I'm being approached right and left, and of course, I have far less time for dating now that I'm in grad school. Isn't that always the way? It has, however, taught me one thing: never date anyone new from July through October. Whenever I do, the relationships either fizzle quietly or end abruptly, and in either case, the guy gives me some chickenshit excuse or a range of excuses that I get to pick from because he can't make up his mind which one is the real one. So four-month dating-someone-new moratorium. Can do. Those are good months for a writing project anyway.
- I had a half-numb/half-sore jaw today after my dentist appointment (filling replaced, required novocaine shot). The dentist said my jaw would be numb for 2 or 3 hours. I got the shot around 2:30, but by 5:30, my jaw was still pretty numb. I went to an acupuncture appointment and was treated for something entirely unrelated (she said I was "hovering" and "not grounded"), and by the time I left an hour later, most of the numbness in my jaw was gone.
Monday, November 12, 2007
drafts and jam and jerusalem
I couldn't figure out why my right wrist was bothering me lately. Then I remembered that I wrote 120 pages in 7 days. I must be insane. I didn't even do Script Frenzy that fast.
It's a crappy first draft (er, "random draft" according to the syllabus), although I quite like the second act. I have until the 24th to revise it, thank goodness. It needs at least one major re-write.
I watched three episodes of Clatterford while finishing the draft yesterday. Joanna Lumley was unrecognizable and amazing - I will never look at tomatoes again without laughing. At first, I wasn't sure I was going to like it. The humor is understated, and the series is basically about a women's guild in a town in Devon, and based on those two factors, one would think it wouldn't be all that interesting to watch (although I think Devon will be my retirement spot - what scenery!). It quickly grew on me, though, and I watched the episodes a couple of times to catch all of the nuances and slipped-in jokes. Can't wait for the second DVD from Netflix. They're making a second series, too. Yay!
I didn't much feel like going into work this morning (time of the month plus a sinus headache), and as luck would have it, the power went out in my condo building around 7:45 and didn't come back on until 11. I stayed in my jim jams all morning, read a bit, ate breakfast at home for a change, got an early-morning fire going in the fireplace, and did some work offline until the battery on the laptop ran down, at which point the power was back on, and I was feeling a bit better. I made myself presentable and moseyed into work around 1. Not bad for a Monday.
It's a crappy first draft (er, "random draft" according to the syllabus), although I quite like the second act. I have until the 24th to revise it, thank goodness. It needs at least one major re-write.
I watched three episodes of Clatterford while finishing the draft yesterday. Joanna Lumley was unrecognizable and amazing - I will never look at tomatoes again without laughing. At first, I wasn't sure I was going to like it. The humor is understated, and the series is basically about a women's guild in a town in Devon, and based on those two factors, one would think it wouldn't be all that interesting to watch (although I think Devon will be my retirement spot - what scenery!). It quickly grew on me, though, and I watched the episodes a couple of times to catch all of the nuances and slipped-in jokes. Can't wait for the second DVD from Netflix. They're making a second series, too. Yay!
I didn't much feel like going into work this morning (time of the month plus a sinus headache), and as luck would have it, the power went out in my condo building around 7:45 and didn't come back on until 11. I stayed in my jim jams all morning, read a bit, ate breakfast at home for a change, got an early-morning fire going in the fireplace, and did some work offline until the battery on the laptop ran down, at which point the power was back on, and I was feeling a bit better. I made myself presentable and moseyed into work around 1. Not bad for a Monday.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
speed writing
Have I mentioned how thankful I am that I did Script Frenzy in June? One hundred twenty pages of screenplay in 30 days? Never did I think the experience would come in handy so soon.
Now that we're into the actual scriptwriting of the scriptwriting class, we've got 21 days to do it. This week is the "random draft." Ten pages on day 1, 20 pages on day 2, and then about 15 pages each for days 3 through 7. "Random draft" is a nice way of saying "just get stuff on paper, no matter how crap it is, so you have something to work with later." This reminds me a lot of NaNoWriMo too.
I find that speed writing really works for me. I'm so much better at the revision and editing, but getting an initial draft written to revise and edit is the hard part. Speed writing is the way to get around that. I feel like I've taken a huge step forward as a writer now that I've figured out this bloody obvious idea. I also find that watching Ab Fab DVDs is wonderfully conducive to the writing process. Jennifer Saunders is a far more brilliant writer than she ever gets credit for. She's also a far more brilliant actress than she ever gets credit for. Digressing, sorry.
I had a great chat with the professor on Saturday, and got some good advice for my story. It's shaping up to be a children's film, and she gave me some good tips for writing for children - write TO them, not AT them or down to them. In essence, my story is a combination of The Wind in the Willows and Bridge to Terabithia, except nobody dies. It's loosely based on something that happened to me when I was six years old - a friend and I were accidentally left behind on a field trip.
And no, I still haven't bought Final Draft. (Has anyone used it? Is it worth buying?) I do just fine in Word with the screenplay template I created, thank you. I may purchase it before the class is over, though, because I apparently can get a student discount, courtesy of the professor. Sigh. How I've missed the student discounts.
Anyone catch the Carol Burnett American Masters documentary last night? Great stuff. The Gone With the Wind sketch (alias the dress with the curtain rod in it) is still hilarious. I remember watching that show with the fam when I was a kid. Must see if DVDs of the show are available.
Picking up the new-to-me car tonight. It's a 2004 black 4WD Saturn Vue. It gets good mileage - about what the Subaru Forester gets. I would have liked to have gotten a hybrid car, but budget won't permit that this time. I think it will be christened Jules, I think that's its name, but I'll let you know once I've actually been in it.
Figured out the double and triple stitches, so now there's no stopping me. I'm working on a blanket and a couple of shawls and scarves when I need a breather from writing.
Pages to write. I'm off.
Now that we're into the actual scriptwriting of the scriptwriting class, we've got 21 days to do it. This week is the "random draft." Ten pages on day 1, 20 pages on day 2, and then about 15 pages each for days 3 through 7. "Random draft" is a nice way of saying "just get stuff on paper, no matter how crap it is, so you have something to work with later." This reminds me a lot of NaNoWriMo too.
I find that speed writing really works for me. I'm so much better at the revision and editing, but getting an initial draft written to revise and edit is the hard part. Speed writing is the way to get around that. I feel like I've taken a huge step forward as a writer now that I've figured out this bloody obvious idea. I also find that watching Ab Fab DVDs is wonderfully conducive to the writing process. Jennifer Saunders is a far more brilliant writer than she ever gets credit for. She's also a far more brilliant actress than she ever gets credit for. Digressing, sorry.
I had a great chat with the professor on Saturday, and got some good advice for my story. It's shaping up to be a children's film, and she gave me some good tips for writing for children - write TO them, not AT them or down to them. In essence, my story is a combination of The Wind in the Willows and Bridge to Terabithia, except nobody dies. It's loosely based on something that happened to me when I was six years old - a friend and I were accidentally left behind on a field trip.
And no, I still haven't bought Final Draft. (Has anyone used it? Is it worth buying?) I do just fine in Word with the screenplay template I created, thank you. I may purchase it before the class is over, though, because I apparently can get a student discount, courtesy of the professor. Sigh. How I've missed the student discounts.
Anyone catch the Carol Burnett American Masters documentary last night? Great stuff. The Gone With the Wind sketch (alias the dress with the curtain rod in it) is still hilarious. I remember watching that show with the fam when I was a kid. Must see if DVDs of the show are available.
Picking up the new-to-me car tonight. It's a 2004 black 4WD Saturn Vue. It gets good mileage - about what the Subaru Forester gets. I would have liked to have gotten a hybrid car, but budget won't permit that this time. I think it will be christened Jules, I think that's its name, but I'll let you know once I've actually been in it.
Figured out the double and triple stitches, so now there's no stopping me. I'm working on a blanket and a couple of shawls and scarves when I need a breather from writing.
Pages to write. I'm off.
Friday, November 2, 2007
half-double
I found a Web site that has instructions and pictures for crocheting left-handed. Finally! I was getting bored with the single stitch. Now I've graduated to the half-double stitch. Now I just have to learn the double and triple stitch. Eventually, I want to do one of those zig zag blankets like my mom made. And Vanna White, of all people, has her own line of yarn. I admit it's a nice color range, and I think this will be my next project.
I came across some pics of Johnny Depp as Sweeney Todd. I so want to see this movie! Creepy fun.
I had a really good seaweed salad and Singapore noodles for lunch today. Great for clearing the sinuses. I found a good recipe for Singapore noodles as well. I love the name of her blog. I don't know why I like these noodles, as I'm not much of a curry person, but oh well.
Waiting to hear what the professor thinks of my screenplay outline. I've got about 50 scenes in it, which should just about get me to the 120-page limit. I have a rare, non-homework weekend to catch up on reading and cleaning and errands and needlework and walking. After this weekend, it will be all steam for scriptwriting until the end of the month. I've got two weeks to write the first draft, and two weeks to revise it. Right.
I came across some pics of Johnny Depp as Sweeney Todd. I so want to see this movie! Creepy fun.
I had a really good seaweed salad and Singapore noodles for lunch today. Great for clearing the sinuses. I found a good recipe for Singapore noodles as well. I love the name of her blog. I don't know why I like these noodles, as I'm not much of a curry person, but oh well.
Waiting to hear what the professor thinks of my screenplay outline. I've got about 50 scenes in it, which should just about get me to the 120-page limit. I have a rare, non-homework weekend to catch up on reading and cleaning and errands and needlework and walking. After this weekend, it will be all steam for scriptwriting until the end of the month. I've got two weeks to write the first draft, and two weeks to revise it. Right.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
who are you writing for?
I finished reading Eat Pray Love last night. There's a fascinating premise at the end of the book that really floored me, and now I look at journaling in a whole new way.
At the beginning of the book, Gilbert describes her first conversation with "God." She's on the bathroom floor, bawling her eyes out, trying to decide if she should get out of her marriage because she doesn't want children and her husband does and because she doesn't feel like her life is really hers anymore. She asks for help and guidance. The voice she hears tells her to go back to bed. To face the turmoil that is coming in her future, she needs rest and strength, so going back to bed was the only thing to do.
Later in the book, she describes several instances in which she's writing in her journal and again asking for help. A voice responds back on the page calmly and with empathy. I kept wanting to know who the voice belonged to. God? The Universe? The page itself?
At the end of the book, after the year-long journey that she's made, she muses on how much she has changed, how far forward she has gone, and how she got her life back. She is a stronger and happier person now.
She remembers the woman on the bathroom floor from several years ago. She remembers hearing the voice tell her to go back to bed. She realizes it was her own voice, the one coming from the stronger happier person who made the year-long journey. This was also the voice she was writing to. It was responding with empathy and support because it understood what she was going through - it had been there already. It was the voice of the person she was growing into.
The older I get, the less I believe that time is linear. It makes more sense to me that everything has already happened and is happening and will happen all at once. The perspective of any of your selves as to whether something is past, present, or future simply depends on where that self enters the stream. Do you ever have those moments when you realize that where you are depends on everything happening the way it was supposed to happen, no matter how confusing or painful it was at the time? I do. It's a constant process of growing into a future self.
I've kept a journal off and on since I was a teenager and read Sylvia Plath's journals. I was awed by how she chronicled her life, her views, her questions, and the contents of her head. I was even more awed when I read the unabridged version that was released several years ago because it was even more evident that she fearlessly dove into contents of her head on a regular basis (the unabridged version was easily twice the size of the original, abridged version).
The problem I've always had with journaling was who the reader was. God? The Universe? The page itself? I've sensed there was someone reading what I wrote as I wrote it, but I never could figure out who it was. I tried being deliberate with it - writing specifically to God or the Universe or the page, but it never felt authentic.
Gilbert's idea that you're writing to a future self with fully realized potential works for me. Plath's journals read this way. She understood this idea, although I don't recall that she ever named it as such. It just made sense to her. Even more wonderful is the idea that your future voice can hear you and respond and comfort you and guide you. Julia Cameron says that "God" is an acronym for "good orderly direction." It makes sense to me that a future self, having gone through what your current self is going through, would be the best person to give you good orderly direction. Why not?
This idea also makes me re-evaluate dreams and visualization and meditation. It seems to me those are all ways to contact the future self as well. Dreaming about and visualizing a life you want could be catching a glimpse of a life you have further along the stream, and the image is sent back to you. Meditation is all about clearing the chaos of past and present in your head to let something talk to you that's been trying to get through. And what about creativity? Ideas? Works of art in any medium could already exist, and perhaps in the act of creating, you're sending back a glimpse that is the spark that starts it in your past. Perhaps that's what Michelangelo meant when he said David was always in the marble. All he did was take away the excess to set him free. Michelangelo had a glimpse of the future piece, and that's how he knew what was there already and what he had to do to get to it. It also means that the answer to the question, "how do you know when it's finished?" is that your future self tells you it is. It sends you a glimpse of it that you sense as "this is a complete piece now." And consider people who say "I don't know how, but I just knew this is what I was supposed to do, I just knew this was the person I was supposed to meet, I just knew this was the place I had to go to." They knew because their future selves told them and sent glimpses back.
Conversely, when you're disconnected from this future voice, that's probably when everything feels like it's wrong, and you feel stuck because you have no guiding voice telling you what is next. Happily, though, when you call out for help, the future voice answers, provided you're willing to listen. How nice that it's always willing to re-connect with you, no matter how many times you turn away from it or ignore it. It will always respond to an open heart willing to hear it.
So now I'm curious to see how my journaling changes with this perspective of a future self reading and responding. Imagine the kind of guidance I could get! I wonder how long my future self has been waiting for me to figure this out and make use of her. She must be completely exasperated with me by now. I bet we have a lot of catching up to do.
At the beginning of the book, Gilbert describes her first conversation with "God." She's on the bathroom floor, bawling her eyes out, trying to decide if she should get out of her marriage because she doesn't want children and her husband does and because she doesn't feel like her life is really hers anymore. She asks for help and guidance. The voice she hears tells her to go back to bed. To face the turmoil that is coming in her future, she needs rest and strength, so going back to bed was the only thing to do.
Later in the book, she describes several instances in which she's writing in her journal and again asking for help. A voice responds back on the page calmly and with empathy. I kept wanting to know who the voice belonged to. God? The Universe? The page itself?
At the end of the book, after the year-long journey that she's made, she muses on how much she has changed, how far forward she has gone, and how she got her life back. She is a stronger and happier person now.
She remembers the woman on the bathroom floor from several years ago. She remembers hearing the voice tell her to go back to bed. She realizes it was her own voice, the one coming from the stronger happier person who made the year-long journey. This was also the voice she was writing to. It was responding with empathy and support because it understood what she was going through - it had been there already. It was the voice of the person she was growing into.
The older I get, the less I believe that time is linear. It makes more sense to me that everything has already happened and is happening and will happen all at once. The perspective of any of your selves as to whether something is past, present, or future simply depends on where that self enters the stream. Do you ever have those moments when you realize that where you are depends on everything happening the way it was supposed to happen, no matter how confusing or painful it was at the time? I do. It's a constant process of growing into a future self.
I've kept a journal off and on since I was a teenager and read Sylvia Plath's journals. I was awed by how she chronicled her life, her views, her questions, and the contents of her head. I was even more awed when I read the unabridged version that was released several years ago because it was even more evident that she fearlessly dove into contents of her head on a regular basis (the unabridged version was easily twice the size of the original, abridged version).
The problem I've always had with journaling was who the reader was. God? The Universe? The page itself? I've sensed there was someone reading what I wrote as I wrote it, but I never could figure out who it was. I tried being deliberate with it - writing specifically to God or the Universe or the page, but it never felt authentic.
Gilbert's idea that you're writing to a future self with fully realized potential works for me. Plath's journals read this way. She understood this idea, although I don't recall that she ever named it as such. It just made sense to her. Even more wonderful is the idea that your future voice can hear you and respond and comfort you and guide you. Julia Cameron says that "God" is an acronym for "good orderly direction." It makes sense to me that a future self, having gone through what your current self is going through, would be the best person to give you good orderly direction. Why not?
This idea also makes me re-evaluate dreams and visualization and meditation. It seems to me those are all ways to contact the future self as well. Dreaming about and visualizing a life you want could be catching a glimpse of a life you have further along the stream, and the image is sent back to you. Meditation is all about clearing the chaos of past and present in your head to let something talk to you that's been trying to get through. And what about creativity? Ideas? Works of art in any medium could already exist, and perhaps in the act of creating, you're sending back a glimpse that is the spark that starts it in your past. Perhaps that's what Michelangelo meant when he said David was always in the marble. All he did was take away the excess to set him free. Michelangelo had a glimpse of the future piece, and that's how he knew what was there already and what he had to do to get to it. It also means that the answer to the question, "how do you know when it's finished?" is that your future self tells you it is. It sends you a glimpse of it that you sense as "this is a complete piece now." And consider people who say "I don't know how, but I just knew this is what I was supposed to do, I just knew this was the person I was supposed to meet, I just knew this was the place I had to go to." They knew because their future selves told them and sent glimpses back.
Conversely, when you're disconnected from this future voice, that's probably when everything feels like it's wrong, and you feel stuck because you have no guiding voice telling you what is next. Happily, though, when you call out for help, the future voice answers, provided you're willing to listen. How nice that it's always willing to re-connect with you, no matter how many times you turn away from it or ignore it. It will always respond to an open heart willing to hear it.
So now I'm curious to see how my journaling changes with this perspective of a future self reading and responding. Imagine the kind of guidance I could get! I wonder how long my future self has been waiting for me to figure this out and make use of her. She must be completely exasperated with me by now. I bet we have a lot of catching up to do.
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