I'm sitting here knitting a cap for my bald friend and co-worker, Stephen, and I'm watching NOW on PBS.
Shrub said in the State of the Union that we have to reduce our use of gas by 20 percent in the next 10 years. Did I dream that? Did I enter a parallel universe temporarily? I actually agree with a man who can't say "nuclear" properly? Personally, I think that percentage should be higher, but it's a start.
An Inconvenient Truth has been nominated for an Oscar. Yay! Go see the film. Go read the book.
Laurie David, producer of the film, was interviewed, and she talked about a lot of things. The thing that struck me first was that after viewing the film, lots of people told her that the film needed to be shown in schools in America. Sounds good, right? She thought so, so she contacted the National Science Teachers Foundation about giving them 50,000 free copies to distribute. Sounds logical, right? Their response? "No thanks." Why? They get funding from Exxon Mobil, among other organizations. Yep, made me choke on my tea, too.
Sigh. At least she got her husband to put a hybrid car in his show.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
jane! jane! jane!
The newest version of Jane Eyre is pretty good so far - appropriately gothicky and cold. I've seen just about every film version of it, and this is one of the better ones. God, the Brontes were brilliant. Sigh, to be able to write like that, just imagine. I love Wuthering Heights, but Jane Eyre edges out in front just a little. I can only read Bronte books in the fall and winter - you can't get the full effect of them if you read them in spring or summer.
I recognize some of the actors. Georgie Henley from the Narnia movie plays young Jane. Toby Stephens, who played Fergus Wolfe in Possession, is Mr. Rochester. Pam Ferris from the Harry Potter movies and Rosemary and Thyme is Grace Poole. I can't quite place the actress playing older Jane.
There's a good film about the Brontes called Devotion, with Ida Lupino as Emily Bronte and Olivia de Havilland as Charlotte Bronte. I think Paul Henried is in it too. I've only seen it on TV. I don't think it's even on DVD, let alone VHS.
One of these days, I need to make a pilgrimage to Haworth House. Jasper Fforde writes a great description of it and of jumping into the novel in The Eyre Affair.
I recognize some of the actors. Georgie Henley from the Narnia movie plays young Jane. Toby Stephens, who played Fergus Wolfe in Possession, is Mr. Rochester. Pam Ferris from the Harry Potter movies and Rosemary and Thyme is Grace Poole. I can't quite place the actress playing older Jane.
There's a good film about the Brontes called Devotion, with Ida Lupino as Emily Bronte and Olivia de Havilland as Charlotte Bronte. I think Paul Henried is in it too. I've only seen it on TV. I don't think it's even on DVD, let alone VHS.
One of these days, I need to make a pilgrimage to Haworth House. Jasper Fforde writes a great description of it and of jumping into the novel in The Eyre Affair.
new feline friends
I noticed today while visiting with my neighbor that I didn't well up in tears while playing with her cat, which is a first in the past month. Can it really be time to adopt another one so soon?
Unbelievably, I might soon be acquiring not one, but two new feline friends. They just sort of suddenly appeared on my radar, seemingly out of nowhere, and it feels like it might be a good fit all around.
One is a tuxedo shorthair female, not quite a year old. The other is a timid 6-year-old black shorthair male. They both get along great with dogs, as well as with other cats.
I've decided not to rush into it, partly because Louise has only been gone a month, and I'm feeling a little guilty, as though I'm replacing her too quickly, and partly because I've got to make sure they like me and my home and my life, and each other, so it's just as much for their sake as for mine.
If anyone thinks I'm nuts for considering this, please tell me now. I'm going to visit the female next Saturday.
Unbelievably, I might soon be acquiring not one, but two new feline friends. They just sort of suddenly appeared on my radar, seemingly out of nowhere, and it feels like it might be a good fit all around.
One is a tuxedo shorthair female, not quite a year old. The other is a timid 6-year-old black shorthair male. They both get along great with dogs, as well as with other cats.
I've decided not to rush into it, partly because Louise has only been gone a month, and I'm feeling a little guilty, as though I'm replacing her too quickly, and partly because I've got to make sure they like me and my home and my life, and each other, so it's just as much for their sake as for mine.
If anyone thinks I'm nuts for considering this, please tell me now. I'm going to visit the female next Saturday.
Friday, January 19, 2007
string theory
I found a place that has some beautiful cellos, and the rental fee is reasonable. I've been warned to make sure I get a cello bow and not a violin bow. Apparently, some dealers don't know the difference (not that I do either).
I've gotten some teacher leads from friends. The hard part is finding a teacher I click with. I talked to one on the phone and just didn't get a good feeling. He seemed awfully pushy. I'm not looking to become a virtuoso, for crying out loud. I'm just following my doctor's advice to work less and play more.
And speaking of playing, I was prodded (you should see the bruises) to submit a short short story (2500 words or less) to a publisher , so last weekend, I managed to come up with something respectable (heh, and my word count was 2499). They even sent me a lovely e-mail saying "the story had arrived safely." Tom Petty was right - the waiting (to see if they even like the story) is the hardest part. If nothing else, it was a good writing exercise because 2500 words is not a lot, so not only do you have to revise your thinking about what constitutes a story, but you also have to choose your words carefully - it's one thing to be economical with words, it's another thing entirely to be economical with words but not lose meaning or flavor. The only way I could think to do it was to write out a draft and then start pruning words. I had to cut about 1000 words from the original draft to get it down to 2500! That was really the most laborious part of the process.
The NaNoWriMo people are conducting a spin-off program in June called Script Frenzy, so I may attempt that in addition to November noveling. Of course, I know nothing about writing scripts, but that's a minor detail.
I've gotten some teacher leads from friends. The hard part is finding a teacher I click with. I talked to one on the phone and just didn't get a good feeling. He seemed awfully pushy. I'm not looking to become a virtuoso, for crying out loud. I'm just following my doctor's advice to work less and play more.
And speaking of playing, I was prodded (you should see the bruises) to submit a short short story (2500 words or less) to a publisher , so last weekend, I managed to come up with something respectable (heh, and my word count was 2499). They even sent me a lovely e-mail saying "the story had arrived safely." Tom Petty was right - the waiting (to see if they even like the story) is the hardest part. If nothing else, it was a good writing exercise because 2500 words is not a lot, so not only do you have to revise your thinking about what constitutes a story, but you also have to choose your words carefully - it's one thing to be economical with words, it's another thing entirely to be economical with words but not lose meaning or flavor. The only way I could think to do it was to write out a draft and then start pruning words. I had to cut about 1000 words from the original draft to get it down to 2500! That was really the most laborious part of the process.
The NaNoWriMo people are conducting a spin-off program in June called Script Frenzy, so I may attempt that in addition to November noveling. Of course, I know nothing about writing scripts, but that's a minor detail.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
the difference between girls and women
My friend, Rebecca, sent this to me, and I'm grateful for it because I needed reminding of which one I'm trying to be.
A girl leaves her schedule wide open and waits for a guy to call and make plans.
A woman makes her own plans and nicely tells the guy to get in where he fits.
A girl wants to control the man in her life.
A woman knows that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.
A girl checks her guy for not calling.
A woman is too busy to realize he hadn't.
A girl is afraid to be alone.
A woman revels in it.
A girl ignores the good guys.
A woman ignores the bad guys.
A girl makes her guy come home.
A woman makes her guy want to come home.
A girl worries about not being pretty and/or good enough for her man.
A woman knows that she is more than pretty and/or good enough for any man.
A girl tries to monopolize all her man's time.
A woman realizes that a lil' bit of space makes "together time" even more special, and she goes out with her own friends.
A girl thinks a guy crying is weak.
A woman offers her shoulder and a tissue.
A girl wants to be spoiled and tells her man so.
A woman shows her man how to spoil her and makes him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his manhood.
A girl gets hurt by a few men and makes all men pay for it.
A woman knows that it was just a few men.
A girl falls in love and chases aimlessly after the object of her affection, ignoring all "signs."
A woman knows that sometimes the one she wants doesn't always want her, and she moves on, without bitterness.
A girl will read this and get an attitude.
A woman will read this and pass it on to other women.
A girl leaves her schedule wide open and waits for a guy to call and make plans.
A woman makes her own plans and nicely tells the guy to get in where he fits.
A girl wants to control the man in her life.
A woman knows that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.
A girl checks her guy for not calling.
A woman is too busy to realize he hadn't.
A girl is afraid to be alone.
A woman revels in it.
A girl ignores the good guys.
A woman ignores the bad guys.
A girl makes her guy come home.
A woman makes her guy want to come home.
A girl worries about not being pretty and/or good enough for her man.
A woman knows that she is more than pretty and/or good enough for any man.
A girl tries to monopolize all her man's time.
A woman realizes that a lil' bit of space makes "together time" even more special, and she goes out with her own friends.
A girl thinks a guy crying is weak.
A woman offers her shoulder and a tissue.
A girl wants to be spoiled and tells her man so.
A woman shows her man how to spoil her and makes him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his manhood.
A girl gets hurt by a few men and makes all men pay for it.
A woman knows that it was just a few men.
A girl falls in love and chases aimlessly after the object of her affection, ignoring all "signs."
A woman knows that sometimes the one she wants doesn't always want her, and she moves on, without bitterness.
A girl will read this and get an attitude.
A woman will read this and pass it on to other women.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
recurring images
Okay, this is just weird. I keep a book of images that I've clipped from newspapers and magazines. I use the images in collages or as creative prompts for paintings or just because the image caught my attention for one reason or another. One of the images is a beautiful watercolor of an Asian woman with long black hair and a black kimono. I found this image in a newspaper several years ago.
Imagine my surprise then, when I started flipping through the copy of Dream Hunters that had just arrived today to find the same image. I at least now know who painted it and where it came from. The artist is Yoshitaka Amano. There is a similar image in the book, except the woman is wearing a blue kimono. I would love to get prints of these two paintings.
This is the second time this has happened to me. The first was coming across a wonderful drawing of a character named Niccolo Dei Conti in The Venetian's Wife by Nick Bantock (everybody but everybody should read the Griffin and Sabine trilogy). I got the former book in the late '90s (and btw, it makes use of the still-fairly-new-at-the-time medium of e-mail quite cleverly). About three years ago, I received a book of photographs by Julia Margaret Cameron, who is my favorite photographer (she also happens to be Virginia Woolf's great aunt). In it, there is a photograph of Henry Taylor, the poet and essayist, and this photograph was apparently the basis for Nick Bantock's drawing. When I saw the photograph, it took me awhile to remember where I'd seen the image before, and it drove me nuts until I remembered Nick Bantock's book. Oddly, he doesn't credit the image as the basis for the drawing.
Strange, but cool.
Imagine my surprise then, when I started flipping through the copy of Dream Hunters that had just arrived today to find the same image. I at least now know who painted it and where it came from. The artist is Yoshitaka Amano. There is a similar image in the book, except the woman is wearing a blue kimono. I would love to get prints of these two paintings.
This is the second time this has happened to me. The first was coming across a wonderful drawing of a character named Niccolo Dei Conti in The Venetian's Wife by Nick Bantock (everybody but everybody should read the Griffin and Sabine trilogy). I got the former book in the late '90s (and btw, it makes use of the still-fairly-new-at-the-time medium of e-mail quite cleverly). About three years ago, I received a book of photographs by Julia Margaret Cameron, who is my favorite photographer (she also happens to be Virginia Woolf's great aunt). In it, there is a photograph of Henry Taylor, the poet and essayist, and this photograph was apparently the basis for Nick Bantock's drawing. When I saw the photograph, it took me awhile to remember where I'd seen the image before, and it drove me nuts until I remembered Nick Bantock's book. Oddly, he doesn't credit the image as the basis for the drawing.
Strange, but cool.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Goodbye, Alice Coltrane
The first time I ventured into the women's studies section of the TWU library (oh, how I miss that library), I was shocked at how little I knew about women's contribution to science, literature, art, politics, religion, music, and every other facet of life, society, and culture. I thought I was fairly well-read in grade school, yet in the women's studies section of the library, I found book after book by and about women I had never heard of - Remedios Varo, Octavia Butler, Rosalind Franklin, Tina Modotti, Lise Meitner, Ida Lupino, Julia Margaret Cameron, Jacqueline du Pre, Artemisia Gentileschi, Clara Schumann, Frida Kahlo, Alice Coltrane, and countless others. It was like getting the other half of my education.
I'm grateful that in just about every class I took at TWU, we learned about women's contribution to what we were studying. I'm also grateful that even after graduating from college, I never lost the habit of keeping an eye and an ear out for women doing remarkable things. It's become a near-daily occurrence, thank goodness.
I'm grateful that in just about every class I took at TWU, we learned about women's contribution to what we were studying. I'm also grateful that even after graduating from college, I never lost the habit of keeping an eye and an ear out for women doing remarkable things. It's become a near-daily occurrence, thank goodness.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Newtonian physics doesn't work for me, either
I think I'm supposed to do something with physics, but I don't know what it is yet. Here's why I think this:
I first became interested in quantum physics (as opposed to Newtonian physics - too rigid) while sitting in my acupuncturist's waiting room. She always has a pile of interesting books on the coffee table in her waiting room, and I picked one up with the marvelous title of The Dancing Wu-Li Masters. It's by Gary Zukav, and it was published in the late 70s. During subsequent visits to the acupuncturist, I got a little further into it, until I managed to find a copy of it for myself (ironically at the TAI SOPHIA bookstore). Since then, other physics books have been presented to me in one way or another - The Elegant Universe, The Tao of Physics, and The Feynman Lectures, and books by Michio Kaku, among others.
Fast forward to about the middle of last year. I was assigned (not asked, assigned) the task of becoming a "subject matter expert" in adult learning principles, which is the latest fad that the company I work for has latched on to. There are a few semi-glittery things that I've come across in my reading on the subject, but the one that made me choke on my tea one morning was a comparison of adult learning principles to quantum theory. They are remarkably, if not to say eerily, similar.
And then, just today, I finally got around to thumbing through an issue of an alternative therapies scholarly journal when I started skimming through an article of excerpts from interviews with various thought leaders in alternative therapy. The one that caught my eye was the interview excerpt with Dr. Christiane Northrup, whose health books I've been reading since college. Her interview was about using quantum theory to explain ideas in alternative medicine.
As I've said and written many times, this is how the Universe gets my attention - it presents a recurring theme to me that will often pop up in the oddest, and most seemingly disconnected places (but then again, quantum theory is all about that, isn't it?), and they are essentially signposts that tell me that I'm heading in the right direction and/or that I'm where I'm supposed to be. A lack of these signals tells me I've taken a wrong turn somewhere. Unfortunately, it still takes me awhile to figure out what the little markers are telling me to do. I've not got the hang of that part yet. Working on it.
So typically, these little physics flag thingys are showing up at somewhat regular intervals, and I'm forced to wait for more of them to appear to get a better idea of what I'm supposed to do. And it's no good telling me to go look for signs. I've tried that, and it's the surest way to take a serious wrong turn and stray way far away from where I'm supposed to be. And it's SUCH a bitch trying to get back on track when that happens.
It will be just my luck that I'll meet Brian Greene or Edward Witten or Michio Kaku in an elevator somewhere, and I'll look like hell because I will probably have forgone makeup for just that day for some weird reason. Of course, if I meet all three at once in an elevator, I'm going to stop the elevator, so we can all have a serious talk and wait for Einstein and Feynman and Doctor Who to show up, as I'm sure they've all got something to do with it as well.
I first became interested in quantum physics (as opposed to Newtonian physics - too rigid) while sitting in my acupuncturist's waiting room. She always has a pile of interesting books on the coffee table in her waiting room, and I picked one up with the marvelous title of The Dancing Wu-Li Masters. It's by Gary Zukav, and it was published in the late 70s. During subsequent visits to the acupuncturist, I got a little further into it, until I managed to find a copy of it for myself (ironically at the TAI SOPHIA bookstore). Since then, other physics books have been presented to me in one way or another - The Elegant Universe, The Tao of Physics, and The Feynman Lectures, and books by Michio Kaku, among others.
Fast forward to about the middle of last year. I was assigned (not asked, assigned) the task of becoming a "subject matter expert" in adult learning principles, which is the latest fad that the company I work for has latched on to. There are a few semi-glittery things that I've come across in my reading on the subject, but the one that made me choke on my tea one morning was a comparison of adult learning principles to quantum theory. They are remarkably, if not to say eerily, similar.
And then, just today, I finally got around to thumbing through an issue of an alternative therapies scholarly journal when I started skimming through an article of excerpts from interviews with various thought leaders in alternative therapy. The one that caught my eye was the interview excerpt with Dr. Christiane Northrup, whose health books I've been reading since college. Her interview was about using quantum theory to explain ideas in alternative medicine.
As I've said and written many times, this is how the Universe gets my attention - it presents a recurring theme to me that will often pop up in the oddest, and most seemingly disconnected places (but then again, quantum theory is all about that, isn't it?), and they are essentially signposts that tell me that I'm heading in the right direction and/or that I'm where I'm supposed to be. A lack of these signals tells me I've taken a wrong turn somewhere. Unfortunately, it still takes me awhile to figure out what the little markers are telling me to do. I've not got the hang of that part yet. Working on it.
So typically, these little physics flag thingys are showing up at somewhat regular intervals, and I'm forced to wait for more of them to appear to get a better idea of what I'm supposed to do. And it's no good telling me to go look for signs. I've tried that, and it's the surest way to take a serious wrong turn and stray way far away from where I'm supposed to be. And it's SUCH a bitch trying to get back on track when that happens.
It will be just my luck that I'll meet Brian Greene or Edward Witten or Michio Kaku in an elevator somewhere, and I'll look like hell because I will probably have forgone makeup for just that day for some weird reason. Of course, if I meet all three at once in an elevator, I'm going to stop the elevator, so we can all have a serious talk and wait for Einstein and Feynman and Doctor Who to show up, as I'm sure they've all got something to do with it as well.
project resolution (revolution?)
New Year's resolutions don't work for me. Giving up things for Lent never worked for me either. It's that whole self-flagellation thing. Instead of being nicer to yourself, be meaner. Tried that, and for the longest time, I couldn't figure out where my self-esteem went.
My college roommate gave up candy for Lent in her freshman year. It seems to me that God was probably sitting up on Rainbow Bridge in a comfy chair with a bag of Jelly Babies, listening to that declaration, and with a shake of the head, saying, "Even I wouldn't go that far."
I do much better with a list of projects that are both fun and good for me, and only rarely involve a "should."
So this year's list includes knitting or crocheting a blanket (or possibly putting both in one blanket - can you do that?), taking cello lessons (this is a carryover from last year, but my cat's terminal illness severely cut into funds, so these had to be put on hold), eating breakfast at home rather than at work, scheduling (and keeping) more play dates, making a large dent in reading list, going to see Julia's kitchen at the Smithsonian (and if I get the job I recently applied for, this may be made vastly easier), completing alternative medicine certificate course, writing at least one whitepaper on alternative medicine, going for a three-peat during NaNoWriMo in November, taking at least one day off every month, and visiting someplace interesting that has absotively nothing to do with a business trip.
I think that's all do-able, or at least attempt-able. I don't worry too much about accomplishing everything on my yearly project lists. I just consider it utter failure if I don't get any of it done.
My college roommate gave up candy for Lent in her freshman year. It seems to me that God was probably sitting up on Rainbow Bridge in a comfy chair with a bag of Jelly Babies, listening to that declaration, and with a shake of the head, saying, "Even I wouldn't go that far."
I do much better with a list of projects that are both fun and good for me, and only rarely involve a "should."
So this year's list includes knitting or crocheting a blanket (or possibly putting both in one blanket - can you do that?), taking cello lessons (this is a carryover from last year, but my cat's terminal illness severely cut into funds, so these had to be put on hold), eating breakfast at home rather than at work, scheduling (and keeping) more play dates, making a large dent in reading list, going to see Julia's kitchen at the Smithsonian (and if I get the job I recently applied for, this may be made vastly easier), completing alternative medicine certificate course, writing at least one whitepaper on alternative medicine, going for a three-peat during NaNoWriMo in November, taking at least one day off every month, and visiting someplace interesting that has absotively nothing to do with a business trip.
I think that's all do-able, or at least attempt-able. I don't worry too much about accomplishing everything on my yearly project lists. I just consider it utter failure if I don't get any of it done.
you're the nose on the great Durante (and Dante)
Is it a coincidence that just as I'm finally getting through The Dante Club by Matthew Pearl (the first chapter was REALLY off-putting), I should come across this article? Probably not. Anyway, it makes me wonder if Jane Austen really looked like the drawing that her sister, Cassandra, did. For some reason, I picture Jane Austen looking rather like Emma Thompson or Juliet Stevenson, possibly Amanda Root.
My art history professor sternly admonished us young ladies that before we died, we HAD to read The Divine Comedy, so I may as well put that on my projects list for this year (see separate blog about yearly resolutions vs projects). I find it best not to ignore recurring themes the Universe puts in front of me.
Besides The Dante Club, I am just about finished reading the entire Sandman series. There are 10 or 11 graphic novels in the series (depends whom you ask). I'm on number 8, World's End, which I like so far (actually, I've liked them all so far). It has a Canterbury Tales structure to it, and rather a lot of stories within stories. This may not seem like a milestone to anyone, but when you consider the volume of writing that Neil Gaiman generates, not to mention all the hints, nods, references, and other allusions to history, culture, mythology, movies, literature, art, music, and whatnot that he sprinkles in everything he writes, it takes some eye work to keep up. The movie version of Stardust is coming out in July supposedly. And look who's in it: Charlie Cox, Claire Danes, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert DeNiro, Peter O'Toole, and Rupert Everett!
My art history professor sternly admonished us young ladies that before we died, we HAD to read The Divine Comedy, so I may as well put that on my projects list for this year (see separate blog about yearly resolutions vs projects). I find it best not to ignore recurring themes the Universe puts in front of me.
Besides The Dante Club, I am just about finished reading the entire Sandman series. There are 10 or 11 graphic novels in the series (depends whom you ask). I'm on number 8, World's End, which I like so far (actually, I've liked them all so far). It has a Canterbury Tales structure to it, and rather a lot of stories within stories. This may not seem like a milestone to anyone, but when you consider the volume of writing that Neil Gaiman generates, not to mention all the hints, nods, references, and other allusions to history, culture, mythology, movies, literature, art, music, and whatnot that he sprinkles in everything he writes, it takes some eye work to keep up. The movie version of Stardust is coming out in July supposedly. And look who's in it: Charlie Cox, Claire Danes, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert DeNiro, Peter O'Toole, and Rupert Everett!
Sunday, January 7, 2007
read into the environment
This a great complement to An Inconvenient Truth:
Plan B 2.0 by Lester R. Brown
"Rescuing a Planet Under Stress and a Civilization in Trouble"
Lester Brown is President of the Earth Policy Institute, which works to educate the public on ways to create an environmentally sustainable economy.
Good stuff.
Plan B 2.0 by Lester R. Brown
"Rescuing a Planet Under Stress and a Civilization in Trouble"
Lester Brown is President of the Earth Policy Institute, which works to educate the public on ways to create an environmentally sustainable economy.
Good stuff.
Saturday, January 6, 2007
yes, you can be an adult and have imaginary friends
A great article from Ursula Le Guin
Heh, it reminds me of a (more true than people realize) quote from Anne Taintor: "She liked imaginary men best of all."
Heh, it reminds me of a (more true than people realize) quote from Anne Taintor: "She liked imaginary men best of all."
for the children
Thursday, January 4, 2007
I hate dilemmas like these
Louise's ashes were finally ready, so I picked them up this evening after work. I did what I was really hoping I wouldn't do, which was start crying in front of the techs. I'm sure they're used to it, but it's embarrassing nonetheless. At what point do people start looking at you and thinking, "Get over it already! She was a pet, for crying out loud!"
Mercifully, at this vet, when your pet dies, they try and get you in and out as quickly as possible, not only for your own sake, but also to avoid a disturbance in the waiting room, so they're mailing the final bill to me, rather than making me stand at the reception desk, blubbering, and trying to find a credit card. That's thoughtful of them, I think.
So I get home (after a good cry in the car), and while the urn they gave me is a beautiful reddish wood, and sealed, I suddenly realized that I had no idea where to put it. I don't really want to put it on the mantle above the fireplace - I can just see a guest noticing it ("oh, what a lovely box, what's that for?" "Oh, that's my cat's ashes."), but I don't want to shove it in a closet either, as that seems disrespectful.
Once I move to a new place with a bit of a yard, and given current housing prices, who knows when that will be, I'll bury it properly and put some sort of marker over it, but until then, I need to find a place for it. I've no idea what to do.
And now I can put flowers on my dining room table, which should make me happy, but doesn't, because the only reason I can put them on the table instead of high up on top of the bookcase is because Louise isn't here to knock the vase over or munch on the flowers. Maybe I should just throw them out, even though they aren't dried up yet.
Mercifully, at this vet, when your pet dies, they try and get you in and out as quickly as possible, not only for your own sake, but also to avoid a disturbance in the waiting room, so they're mailing the final bill to me, rather than making me stand at the reception desk, blubbering, and trying to find a credit card. That's thoughtful of them, I think.
So I get home (after a good cry in the car), and while the urn they gave me is a beautiful reddish wood, and sealed, I suddenly realized that I had no idea where to put it. I don't really want to put it on the mantle above the fireplace - I can just see a guest noticing it ("oh, what a lovely box, what's that for?" "Oh, that's my cat's ashes."), but I don't want to shove it in a closet either, as that seems disrespectful.
Once I move to a new place with a bit of a yard, and given current housing prices, who knows when that will be, I'll bury it properly and put some sort of marker over it, but until then, I need to find a place for it. I've no idea what to do.
And now I can put flowers on my dining room table, which should make me happy, but doesn't, because the only reason I can put them on the table instead of high up on top of the bookcase is because Louise isn't here to knock the vase over or munch on the flowers. Maybe I should just throw them out, even though they aren't dried up yet.
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