jittery

Overall, I seem to be doing all right on the Lexapro. I've noticed that the side effects come and go. I read the product insert more closely, and my recent sinus troubles could be attributed to meds. The two worst side effects are vivid dreams and tingling skin. The dreams wake me up because they're so odd, and since tingling skin is also a symptom of panic attacks, the sensation makes me nervous. I'm going to the doctor for a follow-up in a few weeks, and I've got an acupuncture appointment on Thursday, so hopefully I can get this out of my system.

There's lots going on in Life right now, too. My job is going to be changing a bit now that my friend, Jane-the-gardener, is coming in to help do the stuff I'm not good at, I'm picking up my new cat tomorrow, and the professor is really pushing us in the fiction workshop, which means a ton of re-writing. When things happen in bunches like this, and I'm spreading my energy around, panic and jitters are usually not far behind.

Speaking of workshops, I ran into a dilemma with my grad degree. It looked like I was going to have some lengthy time gaps in my class schedule, which would drag out getting the degree finished. The gaps occurred because the original class schedule that the admissions advisor sent me not only had a required course missing (the schedule showed only 9 courses when there should be 10), but also had thesis courses that were not in my writing concentration (I had asked for fiction, and the thesis courses assigned to me were for poetry). I asked the admissions advisor to correct this, but I didn't get any response, so I attempted to correct it myself through the student portal to add/drop classes, and in doing so discovered the gaps because classes were not available.

I switched tactics and e-mailed the program director, who was very apologetic, as incorrect schedules and time gaps shouldn't occur in the first place, and it was their fault, not mine. He couldn't schedule additional classes since it would be just me in them, so he suggested I double up and take the last workshop class and the first thesis class in the same semester. Normally, you have to finish all the workshops before you can start your thesis, but the program director said he'd waive that requirement for me, and he said if I wanted, I could unofficially start writing my thesis during one of the time gaps to get a bit ahead, so that the two classes in one semester wouldn't be so overwhelming. So that's the plan, which means I will be done with my degree by this time next January.

This past weekend, I watched a weird film called The Order, with Heath Ledger. It's about two priests who investigate an immortal who forgives sins and sends people to Heaven outside of church doctrine. I'll have to rent it from Netflix, so I can see the beginning of it. Imagine my surprise when I got online this evening and came across a newsflash that Heath Ledger had died today. He was only 28. And did you know his first name is really Heathcliff?

Off to re-writing.

JA, round 2

The new version of Northanger Abbey was definitely better than the new version of Persuasion. The quicker pace suited this story better than Persuasion (although the last three minutes of NA were overly hurried and abrupt), and however much I dislike Andrew Davies' arrogance and narrowmindedness that Jane Austen's stories are only about sex, I have to give him credit for getting the humor of the story right.

I never much cared for Northanger Abbey as I always thought Catherine Morland was a ridiculous "simpleton," to use an Austen term. However, I re-read it in the Austen class that I just finished, and seeing as Austen wrote it to show some of the ridiculousness of Gothic novels as well as the naivete of teenage girls to take them to seriously, I'm more appreciative of it now. That's what I love about her novels - they grow on you after multiple readings, and you see things in them when you are older that you didn't see in them when you were younger.

All the actors did well in their respective parts. The actor playing John Thorpe really got the coarseness and callousness of the character, and the actress playing Isabella (a nastier version of Lydia Bennett) did well at portraying her manipulativeness and selfishness. I liked the actress playing Catherine - she didn't play her as a complete idiot, merely a girl finding her sea legs in society.

The abbey itself is appropriately awesome and atmospheric. The gardens were beautiful, and I would love to know where they filmed those scenes. Catherine's country home in Fullerton is lovely, too. I love the vines crawling up the front of the house.

Catherine finding "mysterious papers" that turn out to be laundry lists was great comic relief. On the other hand, insinuating that Isabella slept with Frederick Tilney is stretching the story, I think. Austen may have dropped hints in that direction, but to blatantly determine that that is what happened seems pointless and not Austen-like. Then again, that's Andrew Davies for you.

Next week is Mansfield Park, which is my least favorite of the novels. Billie Piper is playing Fanny. She played a Doctor Who companion as well as Sally Lockheart in film versions of books by Philip Pullman.

dollhouse and cat

Here it is:

The style is called Tamarack, although I've no idea what that actually means. The guy I bought it from finished it after his wife passed away (they had worked on it together).

It's well put together and sturdy. I'm not fond of the paint color or the stenciling, so that will be re-done. The floors are already done, so I just need to do the wallpapering and get some rugs and then start furnishing. I've been looking at doll furniture sites, and it's amazing what you can get - pretty much anything you can think of, somebody makes.

I also visited the animal shelter today and put in an application for one of the cats. I should hear back sometime next week. If I didn't have any cats, I would have taken this one, but the volunteer told me that he needs to be the lone kitty in the household. He's been at the shelter since September, and he doesn't like it there (I don't blame him). If you know anyone who would like a single male cat, please tell them to consider this one. He needs and deserves a home.

there's something amiss...

Right. I'll at least start with what I liked about the new version of Persuasion. Costumes - lovely. Scenery - lovely. Music - extra lovely. Acting - respectable; I hardly recognized Anthony Stewart Head.

There. I've done my duty. I didn't hate it, but it didn't do the story justice, and it's not nearly as good as the 1995 version.

The writing. It felt like the screenplay raced through the story, and it's a short novel as it is. Her books are not a fast read, you miss all the good stuff if you race through them, so film versions should keep that in mind. It's odd that this one runs so fast, considering that the 1995 version of Pride and Prejudice was five hours long.

The adaptation. Quite a bit was changed or moved around, I suspect because it was meant to be as different from the 1995 version as possible. Some of the best conversations were left out entirely. Mrs Smith is walking around, rather than being the invalid she is in the book. Anne running all over Bath, which is out of character for that character (and why was her hair pulled back so tightly? That looked uncomfortable and severe.). Wentworth as a blond (though a handsome one) and not even in uniform, and moody - why would Henrietta or Louisa want him when he doesn't take the trouble to be agreeable as he does in the book? When there's good reason to change something from book to film, I can accept that. When things are changed just to change them, I take issue - why mess with the story when it's unnecessary? That's rude. And tacky. And uncalled for. And confusing. And rude.

The mood. Cold and dark, and that ain't Austen. Rather thick air of repression, which Austen handled far more delicately, mistress of the pen that she was. Anne writing in dark rooms, looking directly at the camera, trying to keep from crying at the drop of a hat.

The acting. Sir Walter is a snob, but an idiotic, somewhat comical snob. Head's version had an unsettling menace to him. I half-expected him to hit the actress playing Anne with his walking stick when she made it clear she was going to see Mrs Smith. We only seem to get glimpses of characters - just about all the supporting characters have far larger parts in the story than in this film version, so you barely get to know them.

All told, this version felt more like a preview of a larger film than the film itself. I'll stick to the book and the Hinds/Root version, thank you.

potpourri in the head

Still sniffling and coughing a bit. One thing I don't like about getting older is that I don't bounce back as quickly from illness. I did have some acupuncture on Thursday, and as soon as the needles were in, my sinuses opened up, and I could breathe a little easier.

I had my six-month performance review at work yesterday, which went well. Hard to believe I've been there six months already. My friend and former co-worker, Jane-the-gardener, is starting there as a project manager in two weeks. I've heard that life at the old job has gotten steadily worse, so I'm still thanking the Universe for getting me out of there last May, despite the not-nice way it was done. Now we just need to get Gwen-the-technical-writer and Michael-the-veggie-poet into the new company, and our merry little band will be together again.

I nearly has me a doll house. I found it on craigslist, which is my back-up site when I can't find things on ebay (the dollhouses there were rather pricey), and I'm picking it up in the next few days. The style is called tamarack. The outer shell has been put together already (and will likely be re-painted), which is good because I don't think I'd have the patience to build it myself, especially after the dollhouse-building horror stories I've come across, which have ruined the experience for some people. The inside is unfinished, which is also good because that's where the therapy is. So I get to wallpaper and floorpaper and furnish. Fun times ahead!

I've come across a bunch of stuff this week:

A cute site - I like the flavor and humor of it, as well as some of the patterns, which I think I can adapt for crochet. And the rabbits are cute too.

Speaking of crochet, Warm Up America has patterns for baby caps that you can make and give to neo-natal units. They even have patterns specially designed for low birth weight babies.

And speaking of babies, I've learned a new stitch that I'm using for the baby blankets I'm making for expectant co-workers. It's called shell stitch, so named because it looks like a shell, and if you use thick yarn and a big crochet hook, you can make nifty-looking blankets in a jiffy.

No more Spider-Man and Mary Jane. I find this disturbing somehow, messing with such an established storyline.

Hear about Jane Austen's house. This will only be up for a week or so. Jane-uary starts tomorrow with a new version of Persuasion. I hope it's good, since this is my favorite of her books. I've not been hearing good things about these new Andrew Davies productions, so this Jane-fest could be a huge letdown. At least they're showing the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice.

tidbits

I came across an article that has prompted me to propose an experiment.


The article was by Christiane Northrup, MD, and it's about DHEA. Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) is the mother hormone, in more ways than one. It's a buffer and reservoir, kind of a protector hormone, and has a role in immunity and stress response. It's been tested for all kinds of things: cancer, ovary problems, lupus, Alzheimer's disease, depression, insulin resistance. Apparently, studies have shown that triggering the "mothering" response regulates this hormone, which helps regulate all the other hormones. So Northrup's idea is this: every day, think of something that makes you melt: babies, kittens, puppies, baby birds, etc., whatever makes you go "awwwwww." Just thinking about these things helps regulate DHEA. The theory is that the reason babies and baby animals are so cute is because it triggers the mothering response, which gives the mother the hormone regulation that enables and prompts her to take care of the baby. Mother Nature is so clever.


My idea is to find the cutest picture you can of one of the above, and put it somewhere where you'll see it frequently. For me, this is on the bulletin board above my desk at work. Replace with a cuter picture as needed. It seems like this would be an easy way to do yourself some good without much effort, and without need of injections or pills or expense of any kind. Anybody wanna try it?


This looks like a good read. I love Rebecca, and I love the Brontes, and now they're all in one.

I saw Colin Firth in a pre-Darcy role earlier in the week. It was a film called The Master of the Moor, based on a book by Ruth Rendell. It was a three-hour film with twists and red herrings, and quite the ending - definitely not what I expected. Worth seeing, and it is available on Netflix.

I've noticed in the past year that my sinuses have been bothering me more. I think this is a getting-older thing. My mom has sinus issues, and I seem to have inherited them. Oddly, my craving for spicy things has also increased in the last year, which is something I get from my dad, he of the mix-tabasco-sauce-with-everything habit. I don't know if the two are related. Spicy food is a great temporary remedy for clogged sinuses at least. Anyway, this cold or sinus infection or whatever it is Just. Won't. Go. Away! It's gotten worse in the last two days, possibly because of the sudden drop in temperature. It's completely sapped my energy, so I don't plan on doing much this weekend besides sleeping, reading (Angel says The Thirteenth Tale is good), drinking gallons of tea, eating spicy Singapore noodles, and watching movies (Angel got me Sherlock Holmes and Hot Fuzz on DVD).

Lyra somehow managed to erase the voice mail message on my house phone, and I can't figure out what combination of buttons she stepped on so that I can re-record it.

I start a fiction seminar on Monday, which should be fun. The textbook is an anthology compiled by Joyce Carol Oates. If I write anything good, I'll post it.

2008 revolutions

Last year, I was more successful than ever with actually keeping resolutions. I think this is because the resolutions I made were things I wanted to do, rather than things I thought I had to do or should do (best advice ever: don't "should" on yourself). So I'm going that route again this year, and here's the list:

• continue working on master's degree
• do a writing exercise every day
• eat more real food, less processed food (by doing the next two)
• see a nutritionist for food advice
• use slow cooker at least once a week
• walk every day
• start cognitive behavior therapy for the panic attacks
• go to bed at a decent hour (which will help with the next one)
• get to work on time (the earlier I get there, the earlier I can leave)
• keep crocheting - this year's projects: 2 baby blankets for co-workers, blankets for Em and Jamie, Mom and Steve, Dad and Sharon, one for a bed in Jane-the-gardener's dollhouse, one for me (and post pictures of all - I've started a ravelry account)
• start dollhouse (I've found one I like that won't take up too much room - it's called a Vermont farmhouse, and it will fit nicely on top of my dresser)
• de-clutter condo
• go to UU services on a regular basis
• host tea party for girlfriends in March (this will be the incentive to de-clutter the condo sooner rather than later)
• spend less, save more (with all the stuff I've planned for myself this year, I won't have much time to spend money; clever, eh?)